Overall, this is an excellent start to a compelling essay. Keep in mind that although the committee allows you to write up to five pages, three double-spaced pages is usually adequate. Feel free to add more detail, but make sure your text is concise and transparent. You might consider "writing" ideas and then "rewriting" them. Too often, authors put ideas onto the page, but do not render those ideas compellingly. Giving your sentences a bit of extra effort, and giving your experiences a bit of extra reflection, will result in a persuasive essay that compliments your accomplishments and character.
A teacher is called builder of the nation. The profession of teaching needs men and women with qualities of head and heart. There are many teachers in our school and a large number of teachers among them are highly qualified. I have great respect for all of them. Yet I have a special liking for Miss Y. Miss Y is a woman of great principles. She is jewel among all the teachers. Almost all the students respect her. She teaches us English. She is quite at home in this subject. She takes keen interest in teaching students. Simple living and high thinking is her motto. She is a woman of sweet temper and is always ready to help in difficulties. She treats us like her own brothers and sisters. She is an ideal teacher. It is these qualities of head and heart that have endeared Miss Y to the students and teachers alike. She is an ideal teacher in real sense of the word. She is the real model to emulate. May she live as long as there is sweet fragrance in the flowers?
You are probably familiar with the idea that transitions may be needed between paragraphs or sections in a paper (see our handout on transitions ). Sometimes they are also helpful within the body of a single paragraph. Within a paragraph, transitions are often single words or short phrases that help to establish relationships between ideas and to create a logical progression of those ideas in a paragraph. This is especially likely to be true within paragraphs that discuss multiple examples. Let’s take a look at a version of our piranha paragraph that uses transitions to orient the reader: