Thank you for sharing with us what must have been one of the most difficult things you have ever faced.
I appreciate what you said about man’s guidelines versus God’s guidelines. I, for one, want to follow only God’s guidelines because He is the One we will all stand before one day to be judged! (Hebrews 4:13)
Though, according to I John, it is possible to know without a doubt of your eternal destiny, I completely understand what you are saying about folks that are confident they have salvation, and yet they live ungodly life styles because, after all, we are all “under grace” now.
They seem to forget that living under grace, however, does not mean we have more freedoms, it should actually cause us to live more seriously and biblically minded and aware of God’s commands. (Romans 6 says it much better than I can :))